Wednesday, June 20, 2007

not so normal in minneapolis

picture this: 48 hour biz trip for me to minneapolis for a speaking gig to a small group of customers. i'm expecting a ho-hum, uneventful excursion to the midwest. i was planning to do the rough equivalent of "plugging my nose and swallowing" the brussel sprouts of a town that i expected minneapolis to be. then the fun started...

walking through the airport, i glanced to my left and caught this advertisement: "Goose Problems?"

uh, not really. why do you ask, flightcontrol?

turns out that migrating canadian geese are the plague of golf courses and people with large lawns everywhere in minneapolis. the disrespectful little canucks punish the greens with their poo, turning the 14th hole into a slippery mess. i was told some people have dogs simply to keep the geese off their lawn, which stands in stark contrast to LA where we seemingly get dogs just to put people's clothes on them and stuff them in a handbag. hrm.

next, i stepped outside to get a sandwich for lunch and had to do a doubletake as i watched a storm trooper take cash out of the atm and go for a stroll down the street. i mentioned this to someone later and they said that they'd also seen him watering plants with a little girl. ladies and gentlemen, nothing to see here, pls move along. just a grown man pretending to be sci-fi warrior amidst all the downtown shops and businesses. i can only imagine what minneapolis is going to look like when the new harry potter book is released...

for the record, we keep these ppl in front of mann's chinese theatre in LA (remember the scene where borat finds his pal dressed as charlie chaplin?) and only let them wander around during movie premieres. if you want to be truly nuts in LA, costumes are not required or really encouraged. though i have to say a stars wars costume would be wayyyyyy better than the old guy in tights that hangs out shirtless on roberston and dances with a baton in front of the local stores. double hrm.

lastly, the sales guy i was out helping took me out to a british pub with a 2nd floor nestled amongst the downtown high-rises which had nothing less than a complete lawn-bowling court setup right next to the pub.

old duffers and young 'uns alike all dressed up in their summer whites throwing the little bowling balls at one another while onlookers work on buffalo wings and beer. league scores up on a big board and everyone enjoying a pleasant late spring evening. pretty cool.

minneapolis, next time i'm coming back with a better attitude and my yoda hookup. dammit, you deserve it :-)

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