Tuesday, September 16, 2008

consecutive interpretation

i thought i'd give a little insight into what really goes on in a speaker's mind while consecutive translation is underway and you're standing in front of the audience waiting for your next chance to speak.

"... and the streamlined UI provides the industry's best customer experience when combined with smart scheduling and silent mode."

(interpreter begins)

"kyoo wa, norton 2009..."

what's on the next slide anyways?
i see, more stuff on usability.
that's really sort of out of order, was that me or can i blame it on pr?
dammit, that's my slide. ah well...
time for a drink of water.
is that guy in the 3rd row asleep or just tired?
his neck just bounced off his chest, definitely sleeping.

i wonder if i could get away with checking my email on my phone...
... nope. turned it off and way too conspicuous.

(big pause by interpreter)

ok, here we go...


(interpreter starts back in)

phew. how did those 5 sentences turn into a full state of the union address in japanese?

is she getting it right? i think i just heard something about an eggplant.
maybe she said the UI is the color of an eggplant.
i hate eggplant, but it's not nearly as bad in japan as it is in the US.
it's smaller and less smushy.

maybe i could try some for dinner, tempura style.
what are we having for dinner anyways?
i need some sake.
that way, if the eggplant is bad, i can just kill it with a swig.

(small pause)

ok, that has to be it.


(restarts again)

unreal. she's definitely making stuff up.
time for another drink of water.

i'm 2/3 of the way done with my water. shoot.
let the race b/w my dry throat and my bladder begin!
check out that guy in the 5th row towards the back.
he's sort of like mr. fuji with donald trump's comb over. yikes.
how can his friends not tell him how bad his hair is?
it's sort of like have toilet paper stuck to the bottom of your shoe.
speaking of toilet paper, is anyone really going to think that manga toilet paper roll souvenirs are as clever as you think they are?

(dead silence)

ahem.

"now every year we conduct usability testing but this year..."

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