Wednesday, September 13, 2006

disaster movies & plane trips

alright, this should really be pretty obvious. it's one of those things that you figure would have been sorted out by now. i'm sitting on the plane cranking through email, reviewing documents, slogging through the to-do list and i glance up at the in flight movie. i was expecting to see something along the lines of "the wild", "eight below" or one of the many unoffensive movies you see while taking a long plane ride. not today. merely a glance revealed people, chandeliers and dinner plates careening off the walls of an ocean liner that was in the midst of plunging down to davey jone's locker. they're playing the remake of the old move poseidon featuring a prolonged cruise ship catastrophe.

why in God's name would you do this? apparently traveling on airplanes today is so dangerous that nary a bottle of aquafina nor a chapstick can be allowed onboard lest we leave the terrorists an opening to attack by undertaking feats with hairpins, ipods, and deodorants that would make macguyver look like a 6th grade science student. people's nerves are understandably on edge these days. so you're going to show them a movie about people in a general state of hysteria, slowing dying on another vehicle of mass transportation?

well, this summer's round of would-be blockbusters are going to offer a whole host of chances for the airlines to make not just minor mistakes like this one, but the type of colossal mistakes that are usually reserved for the french military and the us government. check out this summer's line-up:

World Trade Center: 'Nuff said.

United 93: Again, no need to explain.

Snakes on a Plane: Extraordinary. Can you imagine sitting on a plane while watching hundreds of lethal reptiles squirm their way around the economy section? (first class might offer some form of snake repellent seats, one would hope. prolly the best we can hope for now that steve irwin is gone.)

alright, back to work. maybe i can finish up in time to catch the next show. i'm hoping for "nacho libre". i've heard it's lousy but just like there's something naturally disturbing about watching people drown en masse, there's something naturally funny about seeing a fat man in a unitard.

1 comment:

Mai said...

hahaaa! when i was an undergrad a friend of a friend had a job watching all the news bulletins that got played on airplanes and editing out all the disaster stories. sounded like a piss-easy job, in those halcyon days before 9/11 took the innocence out of airtravel.